The rising problem of bullying:

learningexpress.com

When you think of bullying you think of children on the playground and a group of boys ganging up on another boy and either picking on him or beating him up. That is still a big problem, but we have gone far beyond that with technology and the child never growing up and continuing to bullying as an adult.  Boys are not the only ones that bully these days either, females are on the rise for bullying also. This is getting to be so much of a problem that it is as widespread as the teachers bullying students and so on.

When I was young things were only different to the point where the boys liked to pick on a helpless girl rather than a boy their own age. They thought they were tough that way only I figured out their game really fast…they were afraid of their mother…lol. I had enough of them trying to pick on me when no one else was around, so the very last time they did something I threatened to have my mother call their mother and talk to her and then they would have to get into trouble. They did not like that too much and they did not pick on me one more time.

                Another time I kept getting bullied by another boy and he refused to leave me alone. He was brave enough to bully me on his own. The other boys did it in groups – they were not so brave. The single boy did it one too many times to me and I hauled off and hit him with my fist and knocked him right on the ground. Funny thing that came out of that one is he decided to be my friend after that. I was still in elementary school back then and I had and still have a lot of strength. Why the boys wanted to pick on me is a great mystery to me. They knew I was not afraid of anything and I was just about as strong as they were.

                Bullying seems to trickle down to the next generation; I was bullied and my children were bullied. I am praying that my grandchildren do not have to endure the same fate. My eldest child had to tolerate the problem of being bullied almost on a daily basis because the school system would not believe him when he told them about the other boys making fun of him and the name calling. They would taunt him constantly and I was always on a “no fighting policy”. Someone else told him to fight so he did, just one punch, but it was enough anger build up in that punch from a long time of taunting that it left a mark on the boy. My son is the one that got into trouble and none of the other boys were ever talked to after years of this going on.

In order for the no bullying campaign to work, everyone needs to be onboard, including all of the people who work for the school system. They cannot just label a child a “bad child” and ignore him all together when he/she reports that someone is abusing them verbally and or physically.

                First I think we need to take a look at what do we consider bullying? It is an attempt to control another person through verbal abuse, exclusion, or physical abuse. Bullying can occur anywhere; in the home, schools (both with students and teachers), workplace, military and with the elderly (nursing homes or wherever the elderly are being cared for).

                Now we can look at why people bully: While you live in an environment that does not look at the standards of how to treat people may be a reason that bullying exist. They do not have any or low standards about how people are to treat each other. Some cultures are interested in who has the power and the influence goes with that power. There are too many people that are glorified by power and influence and will gravitate towards that type of setting because of what it has to offer. It gives you money and social standing. Negative behaviors get you more noticed that positive behavior does – I worked with children for many years while my children were in school and I can attest to that one being so true. I could remember all of the troubled children compared to the children that were always good. I mean, why would I remember someone that in never had to talk to every day?

                Then there are family issues that are usually top on the list when it comes to bullying. When there is no love and warmth sharing within the family it tends to leave an empty feeling inside and the child is more likely to go out and bully. They do not always have to have a bad home life, but having had social rejection could play out for the child to turn around and start bullying others. Abuse in the home has to be the biggest reason why bullying keeps going. A child trust and loves a parent and he or she is verbally, mentally and/or physically abusing the child confusing the child as to what is right or wrong. The child is born into the world with basic ideas as to what is right and wrong and the parent takes those ideas right out of the child’s head and confusion sets in.

                I feel that the biggest kind of bullying that has been going on for centuries is for people that are different, handicapped, gay or those who do not know they are gay yet, but act differently, people that are not living up to other people’s standards (are poor living in an area that is a higher class than them), etc.

Now we have what and why, let’s move on to the new age of bullying:

                Today bullying has moved on to cyber bullying. No one has to be face to face anymore, they can stay home and be in a group in one home and bully one person over the internet. With today’s technology and everyone having them, children, teens and adults can be bullying via texting on phones, on computers, tablets, any new technology that is out there that one can communicate from one person to another.

                Many of the cyber bullies believe that if they text or email with an anonymous mail that they will not get caught. No matter how anonymously they try to hide the mail there are ways of finding the original place of where the mail or texts are coming from. The ones sending the mail think that the cyber bullying is funny, but it causes damage to many of the recipients to the point of continued cycle of the bullying, depression and in some cases – suicide.

                There needs to be education, education, education about bullying way before the bullying starts with the elementary children start this type of behavior. Every year they need to go through the same training until it starts to get through their heads just what kinds of damage bullying can do.  

                There is a law that prevents bullying, but it is not a federal law. It is only a state to state law and unfortunately Michigan does not fall into one of the states that have an anti-bullying law. There are 45 states that have gotten on board with the anti-bullying law except for the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Michigan, Montana, North Dakota and South Dakota. New York is the most recent state to join with the other states to have a anti-bullying law.

                Michigan needs to get on board now and get this law into action. One of the only problems with this law is that there does need to be witnesses. So if there are three boys gagging up on one boy that is three to one already. The one would need two other witnesses or three other witnesses to come up against the others. Most of the time no one wants to get involved so this is a big problem. Even the person that is getting bullied does not always want to tell for fear of more retaliation. It is a vicious problem for the victim.